Tag: life

Make It Count

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You’ve been given the opportunity to send one message to one person you wouldn’t normally have access to. Who’s the person you choose, and what’s the message?

My message is a life skill and is for everyone. Arguments and disagreements happen regularly. But how do you know when to push your point and when to back off. The answer can be found in five little words.

“Is it worth the argument?”

No. I’m talking about for the sake of pride but what the outcome needs to be. If the answer is “yes, it is,” continue with your argument and make it count. It is however important to keep checks on how your argument is going. Ask yourself regularly, “is it worth the argument?” Because what was once worth the argument at any point may no longer be working. Discussions may have become heated, nasty and overemotional. If left to continue they may begin to have a marked impact on the relationship between the people involved. The argument itself hasn’t changed but discussing it any further at that moment “is not worth it.” Both parties need space to consider and hear what the other person is saying. During this time, stop the argument. Consider a statement that works for you, similar to the following.

“We need to stop now, this is no longer working. No further discussions will be entered into.”

One example of the above situation may be parents/teachers setting boundaries with teenagers about acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour. It may take them years to understand but keeping them safe is definitely worth the argument.

One the other hand, arguing about smaller issues isn’t worth the argument. Does it really matter whether the cup is blue or green when it could be described as either?

Next time you find yourself arguing with someone or even yourself—make it count. Ensure whichever way you go, you are moving forward.

 

 

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Gratitude

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Oprah

 

Gratitude is infectious. Give thanks at every opportunity. The more you do it, the more you will find to be grateful for. Start small. With practice, you will begin to realise that the things you feel negative about can be redefined. You choose the way you look at every situation. For example, instead of focusing on how stressful your work is and all the things it doesn’t have—choose to make a list of all the things about your job that you are grateful for. Some examples may be:

I have a job

It pays me regularly—providing money for housing, food, bills and my current lifestyle

I have friends at work I can talk to

My job has taught me

  • how to use a computer and computer programs
  • time management
  • conflict resolution skills
  • customer service
  • organisational skills
  • presentation skills
  • personal resilience
  • complaints management
  • stress management
  • documentation
  • Occupational Health & Safety legislation
  • boundaries
  • people skills

It gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning

Provides me with annual leave, sick leave, long service leave and superannuation

Take up Oprah’s challenge. Make a decision today to start focusing on all that you are grateful for in your life. Gratitude is a feeling and focusing on it will lift your mood, allowing you to see more things to be grateful for in your life. As you become more grateful for things in and around your life, you will begin to be able to see things to be grateful for in negative situations, even tragedies.

Our Special Nameless Friend

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Our local Thai restaurant is traditionally decorated. It has portraits of the Kings of Siam adorning the walls and golden Thai god statues at the front door. It was there that we first saw her—the traditionally dressed, petite, ageless and physically-childlike Thai waitress. She was waiting unobtrusively in the background for our order. Slowly, she approached our table with her charming smile. She bowed to us, humbly. On raising her head, in heavily broken English, she spoke to my husband.

“Why are you wearing purple reading glasses? she asked. He response was comical and she laughed. Then suddenly out of the blue she made her own joke and from that moment on, whenever she sees me, (not my husband), she smiles broadly, nods and rushes towards me, like a long lost friend.

Several months later, despite the growing connection, names have never been exchanged. They seem irrelevant. We have become superficial friends and she regularly asks me, “how are you and when are you coming to the restaurant again?” Always informing m to come on a Monday evening as it is the only time she works these days. Last time we were  at the restaurant she was excitedly telling me that she is also doing food demonstrations. Then one Saturday morning,out of the corner of my eye, I saw her demonstrating at Costco.  I wondered if she would recognise me among the crowd. She certainly did.

While busily preparing her demonstration for me, she again asked about when we were last at the restaurant remembering that we had told her that we lived in the area. Her cheerful attitude brightened up my morning and reminded me of the value of the simple things in life.

On our last visit to the restaurant, she was waiting to pick someone up, when she saw us. Despite the fact that she wasn’t working she hurried over, thanked us for coming and took our order. To her we are friends and she loves to serve us.

Guoliang Tunnel

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What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had?

Up until the early 1970’s, Gouliang village, high in the Taihang mountains, Henan Province in central China had a big problem. They were isolated from the outside world except by climbing down a ‘sky ladder’, which were steep narrow stairs carved into the side of the mountain joining the top of the volcanic cliffs with the valley floor below. There was no road. Anything coming in or going out of the village needed to be carried via the stairs.

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Guoliang Village cut off from the world before the tunnel.

In 1972,the village elders became more and more frustrated with the government as they continued to reject their requests to build a road down the mountain. As a result, the village elders decided that the policy of if you want something done do it yourself was the only way to solve this problem. So the villagers sold everything they could to buy hand tools and selected 13 of their strongest men, who began the arduous task of hand cutting a tunnel through the rock. Below is the entrance to the tunnel and as you step into it, you become overwhelmed by the enormity of the task that the villagers had undertaken and are inspired by the gift the tunnel has given the world.

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Interior view of hand cut tunnel entrance

Building the Guoliang Tunnel took 5 ½ years patience and determination. It is 1.2 kilometres in length, 5 metres high and 4 metres wide. It has been described as the 2nd most scariest road in the world and cost several villagers their lives. Forty years later the legacy of this tunnel—built as a life line to a small village—has become an international tourist attraction.  Guoliang village is now recognised as  China’s number 1 movie and television set,  which make the villagers a lot of money. According to James Packer the next ten years will see the Chinese film industry become bigger than Hollywood.  So as you can see the legacy of the tunnel is bigger than the villagers could have ever dreamed possible and has given them a lot of power.  Now if their requests are not met by the government—they simply shut down access to the tunnel until they get their way as happened in 2011.

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Comparison view. Note size of car compared to tunnel

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Base view of tunnel from the Guoliang village.

This remote part of China is difficult to get to. While it can be done on public transport, we had a guide take us and the journey took all day. It was however an amazing experience and one I would recommend to anyone travelling to central China. The Guoliang Tunnel is an inspiring example of how something planned for one purpose can open doors that were never believed to be possible. What doors do you need to open that seem too difficult—by taking steps in the right direction you never know where it will lead?

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