Retreat is an active word. It’s not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you are in-charge of your reactions. It shows you know when to do something differently. To me, the word RETREAT breaks down into the following powerful actions and helps me to move forward in the direction I need to go even if it’s not the direction I originally wanted to.
Return to a safe space
Experience feelings associated with current stress
Take time out
Recover your strength
Experiment with new ideas
Activate a new plan
Test it out
Have you ever found retreating to be a successful strategy to move forward?
Treasure is something of value. It can come in all shapes and sizes, be shiny and sparkle or be ugly and covered in dirt. Everyone’s treasure and things they value are different. For me, my most valued treasure is my personal values.
S elf Respect
They are how I live my life, raise my family and connect with people. Without any of them my life would be unbalanced. Individually, my values are only part of the picture, but together they form a very strong bond that can get me through any obstacle life throws my way.
When I think about a sandwich I don’t think about food but a way to deliver difficult feedback. I start by telling the person something they do well. Where possible I try to make it as close to the topic we are discussing. After we have discussed this for a minute or two I then introduce my difficult feedback. Where possible I look at the big picture of the issue discussing how the problem impacts the person and others. If appropriate, I will also give some ideas to help the person to move forward and make the changes required. To complete my feedback I would ask the person if they needed anything from me and remind them of the positives of what they are doing.
Often feedback is very difficult to hear but I find the more open the discussion, the better the outcome. By using the feedback sandwich, the person becomes less defensive because the news has been softened by positive feedback. It is a system that works well and has an overflowing impact of developing respect between the people involved.
A win/win for everyone, the feedback sandwich is:
Working in mental health, for me crisis management, big and small, can be a daily occurrence. And while helping someone or even myself through a crisis is a good feeling, I don’t believe it is the best part of the experience. Like Marilyn Monroe in the above quote, “Within crisis, are the seeds of opportunity,” I agree that the opportunities that arise after the event are. They create personal growth within us that transforms our lives. We are a changed person, older and wiser. due to the lessons we have learnt or have been forced to deal with due to the crisis.
For more information on my inspiration to get through a crisis stop by my earlier post below.
Getting Through Tough Times
Understanding another person’s thoughts, feelings or behaviours is part of getting to know them. It is easy to judge based on our own assumptions of what is appropriate, but life is not that simple. It can be hard sometimes to look at a situation through another’s eyes. However, from my experience, the real growth comes as you can learn about your response to the initial trigger. Without this knowledge, you will find yourself in the same situation again and again.
To help me gain understanding I regularly review situations outside of the moment. The stronger my reaction, the more important I find it is to dig deep and be honest to develop the best outcomes for every one. In the following acrostic poem I share my thoughts and experiences reviewing difficult conversations and situations.
Unveiling the uncertainty
Negativity or neglect
Discovering the depth of the drive
Educating myself to encourage and empower
Realising any resentfulness I respond with reassurance and respect
Secure, sensitive and supportive
Treading lightly, building trust and tolerance
Aware and authentic of my feelings
No longer nervous, nasty or numb
Delighted the situation is different now
Invigorated through involvement
Getting to know myself as well as you better
What household chore do you absolutely hate doing?
I hate doing all house hold chores which is why I pay a cleaner. They enjoy it, are definitely better at it and the stress is removed. I love to come home the day the cleaners have been and just sit quietly and smell the clean silence. It rejuvenates me to think about the blogging and editing I can do at the weekend.
What was the last URL that you bookmarked?
I don’t know what this question means so I guess I don’t do it. I am really only an amateur when it comes to this technology.
Close your eyes. Listen to your body. What part of your body is seeking attention? What is it telling you?
When I closed my eyes I did so at my computer desk and put my head in my hands. At this time my body began to tingle and my head began to slightly ache. I think it was telling me thanks for stopping and are you going to feed me soon as my blood sugar levels are dropping after a long day computing and working. Message correct. I felt better after food.
Would you rather have a two-bedroom apartment in a big city of your choosing or a mansion in the country side in the state or country where you currently live?
If I could afford to not work I would rather be in country New South Wales. If I had to work I would rather be in apartment in the city close to work. I of course would be happy to give working in Canada, London or USA a go if I met the qualifications.
Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
Last week I was grateful for the support I received during a tough week. This week I am looking forward to putting all the little illustrations back into my book before I review it with my collaborator. Editing is such a long process.
Share Your World – 2016 Week 8