Hand It Over

It was the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last. These were the words that were going through my head as I was plucking up the courage to hand over my book’s complete and printed first draft. I remember telling myself, “it actually looks like a book.” I was so proud. If only I could keep my treasure to myself. However, the purpose of writing a book is to share knowledge, so I knew I had to hand it over to others – colleagues, patients, family and friends. Now was the time. It was never going to get any easier, but my thoughts and emotions were overwhelming.

What if they don’t like it?

What if people find it offensive and don’t like hearing the truth?

Was my writing good enough?

Why should people listen to what I had to say about eating disorder recovery?

Were my points clear?

What if it confused people?

These and many other questions could only be answered by you guessed it – seeking feedback. So in nervous anticipation, I made a plan and handed my baby over.

“Wow this is impressive” was the initial reaction after a quick flick through the 200 page document. My heart settled. I had done it. I had made the first steps in putting my work out there for others to scrutinize.  To my surprise it felt good. I knew that the making of a book is not in the writing but in the readers thoughts, opinions and acceptance. And so began my change process. I took all the feedback from my 50 or more readers I had handed a copy of my book. I began to enjoy hearing or reading what they had to say with everyone giving me different and valuable insights into how the world interpreted my writing.

Now, 3 years on from my first time, my book has it 3rd working title, which I think will be its last, but who knows. My next challenge is to finish wrapping it up and ensuring that every point I have made has a purpose before sending it to the editor for the first time, which will start the actual publishing process.

What do you need to do for the first time that although scary has the potential to change your life in some way? Remember, sometimes there is no easy way. You just have to hand it over and allow the process to begin.

My second working title

My second working title







The meaning behind the above quote is that in general perfection cannot be reached. When you aim for perfectionism in all areas of your life you stop setting realistic achievable goals. This is because you believe you can’t achieve them so  you don’t bother attempting to, which affects your contentment.

However, perfectionism can be healthy if it is isolated to only one achievable area. The difference is how you feel about yourself and why you are attempting perfection. In some sports, Olympians can achieve a perfect score. However, remember that to get one perfect score—on one skill or routine—they also have practised the skill thousands of times imperfectly. They may have also injured themselves attempting to complete the skill. Athletes accept this as part of the journey and get back on track to do their best. They know and accept that while they may achieve one perfect score—they won’t always be able to keep this up and on a different occasion, they may achieve a low score for the same skill or routine. It is what it is.

The following table considers some of the differences between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism.

Achieve your personal best Increasing anxiety due to fear of not achieving goals and self-worth is only achieved through completing unachievable goals
Do a good job at your workplace Setting yourself up to fail then being afraid to try
Do the best you can in specific areas of your life e.g. Olympians with perfect scores or students who score high scores in some exams Fearing failure to such an extent that you avoid the task at hand
Setting high but realistic and achievable goals Setting unachievable goals

If you want to aim for perfectionism, make sure it is healthy and achievable for you. Aiming for perfectionism in all areas of your life creates so much anxiety that you never get started and as a result your self-worth and content of life plummets.


Coffee Catch-Up #9

If we were having coffee I would tell you how dramatically my life has changed since our last coffee catch-up 5 weeks ago. My son has moved to Japan to be with his finance, I have resigned from my job, taking a month off before returning to casual nursing and this week it was confirmed that my husband has a new job in Newcastle, the city I grew up in. Life is definitely moving forward and the future looks bright.

If we were having coffee I would tell you about the great, wet weekend my husband, son, daughter and I spent together in the Hunter Valley before he left for Japan. The villa I rented contained a slow combustion fire place, so, despite the cold and wet we were toasty warm. I had kept this a secret from my husband to add to give him  a surprise. He was so excited that he didn’t stop playing with it all weekend. The fact that he didn’t have to chop the wood made his day even better. The cabins were in wine country and had resident kangaroos that roamed around the property. The photos below are from our verandah and we thought one of the kangaroos even had a joey in her pouch, however, because it was too wet we couldn’t get any closer. What do you think?

If we were having coffee I would tell you that since we last meet my blog has turned 2. I can’t believe how much I have learnt and grown since I joined the blogging community. This time 2 years ago I think I was still struggling to have 7 followers and now I have over 700 and fortunately they continue to grow daily. My goal by Christmas is to have over 1,000, which I think is doable if I keep chipping blogging away. My goal for my 3rd blogiversary is to have had 50,000 views. As this is  just over double what I am now on, it may be a tall order, but hey reach for the stars I say.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that since I resigned from my managers position, I have enjoyed having no stress and getting back into my blogging regularly. I don’t think I realised the impact the stress was having on me until I stopped and literally felt my body relax. Every time people see me now they are commenting on how good I am looking and how it is nice to see me smile again.

If we were having coffee I would tell you how grateful I am to A Momma’s View for choosing my poem on understanding as one of her pick’s of the week. It has helped me develop my confidence in my new skill of poetry writing. Stop by and visit her blog if you get the chance it definitely worth a look.

If we were having coffee I would tell you how nice it was last Saturday to share an Aussie BBQ with my son and close family and friends just hours before he left the country to start his new adventure in Japan. Sharing stories and future plans is great bonding experience and with the ease of travel these days nowhere is far away.

If we were having coffee I would tell you about the beautiful flowers I got from my staff after leaving work. They were so heavy and take pride of place on the table behind my desk, bringing a smile to my face daily.

2016-06-18 16.03.03


If we were having coffee I would tell you that my daughter’s birthday seems like it was months ago, however in reality, it was only 3 weeks ago. Because everyone was busy, it was extended over the week and celebrated many times with some intimate gathering of family and friends at the times everyone was available.

If we were having coffee I would ask you what you have been up to since we last met. Has your world been calmer or crazier than mine? Let me know in the comments.

Coffee Catch-up # 8

Weekend Coffee Share

Weekly Photo Challenge: Curve

The Sea Jelly Spectacular at Ocean Park Hong Kong is an amazing display of over 1,000 sea jellies from around the world. In these underwater gardens there are curves everywhere. The display tanks are round and highlighted by neon light and special effects.  The sea jellies themselves are curvaceous and their pulsating movements help emphasize the musical score. If ever you are in Hong Kong do yourself a favour, visit Ocean Park and get lost for a while in the cleverly planned maze that is The Sea Jelly Spectacular.


The Butterfly Story

Life is a personal journey. Others can help and support along the way however, they cannot do the work for us. When they rescue us, we never learn the skills required to save ourself when things get tough. Sometimes life has an odd way of putting the challenges we require in our path. But, it is important to notice what we learn from each experience — the good as well as the bad. The following true story of unknown origins explains the importance of struggles very well.

A man finds a butterfly cocoon, which develops a small hole. Over several hours, he notices the butterfly struggling to force its body through the small hole.

After a period, the man noticed that the butterfly appeared stop progressing. In trying to be helpful, the man decides to cut the cocoon open.  The butterfly emerged easily however its body was swollen and it had small-shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly expecting at any moment the wings to enlarge and expand enough to support the body.

Neither happened!

In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around the ground. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not realise was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle by the butterfly to break free was nature’s way of forcing the fluid out of the butterfly’s body and into its wings so that it is ready for flight when the butterfly emerged.

Like the butterfly’s journey out of the cocoon, the struggles, we overcome help to develop our strengths needed for later life. They allow us to overcome obstacles that would otherwise cripple us. Without them we are unable to fly.

All our journeys are unique experiences and remember, there are no maps.



Share Your World – 2016 # 24

What is the most fun thing you did in school?

During our 5th form  Jindabyne Ski Excursion (yes I am that old, now called year 11) I became a popular girl for 5 days. My rise to fame happened quickly and by accident, when I became friends with a group of popular kids from another school. Unfortunately, as they were from another part of the state, we never saw each other again as travel between areas wasn’t as easy as it is today. At the same camp I also discovered my natural ability to ski. This also helped my popularity as most of the kids couldn’t ski. It was a surprise to many as usual my reputation was as the person nobody wants on their sporting team. Karma felt nice for a few days as suddenly the roles were reversed.

What is your favorite type of dog?  (can be anything from a specific breed, a stuffed animal or character in a movie)

I wouldn’t describe myself as a cat or dog person. However, one dog I have always loved is Snoopy. So loyal, cute and creative, he helps Charlie Brown out of many scraps. I haven’t seen the Peanuts Movie yet but hope to enjoy Snoopy in his latest movie soon. My long time love of Snoopy is the reason somewhere hiding in our house is a much loved stuffed Snoopy that has been a part of the family since my children were little.

You are invited to a party that will be attended by many fascinating people you never met.  Would you attend this party if you were to go by yourself?

I have spent my life doing things by myself so attending a party I want to attend doesn’t phase me. The secret is if I want to attend it or if some else thinks I should for whatever reason. I am not a work the room sort of person but can easily find my way when I need to.

Complete this sentence:  Never In My Life Have I…. 

Won a talent or popularity contest. To be fair and honest however, I have never put a great deal of effort into trying to win them either. One thing I plan on putting a bit more effort into this year is my Toastmaster speeches to see if I can by polishing them give myself the chance of taking my speaking to the next level.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

Last week I was grateful that most of my family was able to travel to Sydney to farewell my son who left on Saturday to spend a couple of years in Japan. We had a great afternoon although it went quickly before his departure later that night.

During this coming week I am looking forward to getting back into my aqua aerobics and organizing my house. We have many things that are no longer required and need removing.  Now is the time to put this plan into action.

Share Your World – 2016 Week 24


Rebuilding is a natural occurance in life. It involves improving or making changes to something/someone that already exists or building something/someone again that has been damaged or destroyed. To ensure that the rebuild is the best it can be, both scenarios involve planning. Before creation, the person, building or thing needs stripping down in order to help reinforce the changes. The following list may help if you are considering a rebuild in your life.

  1. What works of the old plan?
  2. Can any of it be incorporated in to the new plan?
  3. Write a dream list of things you would like added to your rebuild.
  4. Prioritise your dream list and incorporate as many as practically possible.
  5. Draw up a new plan then leave it for at least a week. During this time get feedback form others.
  6. Come back to it, review and make any necessary changes.
  7. Start rebuilding — one step at a time.



Understanding another person’s thoughts, feelings or behaviours is part of getting to know them. It is easy to judge based on our own assumptions of what is appropriate, but life is not that simple. It can be hard sometimes to look at a situation through another’s eyes. However, from my experience, the real growth comes as you can learn about your response to the initial trigger. Without this knowledge, you will find yourself in the same situation again and again.

To help me gain understanding I regularly review situations outside of the moment. The stronger my reaction, the more important I find it is to dig deep and be honest to develop the best outcomes for every one. In the following acrostic poem I share my thoughts and experiences reviewing difficult conversations and situations.

Unveiling the uncertainty

Negativity or neglect

Discovering the depth of the drive

Educating myself to encourage and empower

Realising any resentfulness I respond with reassurance and respect 

Secure, sensitive and supportive

Treading lightly, building trust and tolerance

Aware and authentic of my feelings

No longer nervous, nasty or numb

Delighted the situation is different now

Invigorated through involvement

Nurturing and

Getting to know myself as well as you better


Weekly Photo Challenge: Pure


While traveling to Canada, my husband and I accidentally wandered into the Canadian Mint in Ottawa where we could touch and pick up a 24 K gold bar weighing 28 pounds (12.7 kilograms.) It was an amazing experience and I was astounded that it was 999.9% pure gold. So simple but so beautiful.